I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
