with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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