did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
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Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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