Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
