Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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