dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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