When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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