so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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