im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
