in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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