Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
