Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Randomize