We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
