Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
she smelled like a LAN party
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
