i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
