I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
