I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
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I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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