I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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