I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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