You made me cry and you don't even care
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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