i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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