So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
