there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
