I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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