Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
