I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
