The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
false alarm. still invincible.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
