she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
