Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I could fuck to npr.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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