the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
