How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
