Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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