Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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