Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
