And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
