What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
