dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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