Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
