the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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