Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys

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(407): View more from Florida

i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

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(425): View more from Washington

I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Too much gin, very little bucket

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(856): View more from New Jersey

the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed

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(407): View more from Florida

We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.

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(240): View more from Maryland

this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.

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(303): View more from Colorado

You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems

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