that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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