Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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