I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
