My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
