sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
