Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize