and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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