I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's shark week go big or go home
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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