So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
