How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
