i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
