I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
