been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
