found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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