He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
