I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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