i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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